Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. 1. How do I tell coworkers I’m married when they don’t think I am? (#2 at the link) Your advice was […]

• my coworker told everyone we're married ... we're not even dating
• my husband's boss/our friend is sleeping with their married department head
• my coworker keeps joking that I'm having sex with my husband in the office

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. 1. An industry colleague is […]

• an industry colleague is lying to me about a dispute we had years ago
• employee is demanding Diet Coke as a religious accommodation, desk is covered with photos of feet, and more
• employee says his religion prevents him from using the correct pronouns for trans or non-binary coworkers

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. In 2018, I printed a letter from someone asking whether they should […]

• boss invited our whole office on a 10-day cruise, I had a disturbing dream about an employee, and more
• coworkers crashed my networking party, new hire wants to print everything, and more
• data from 13,000 people's real-life salaries

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Welcome to “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager! Between now and the end of the year, I’ll be running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. A heads-up about update season: for the next few weeks I’ll be posting at midnight, 11 am, 12:30 pm, 2 pm, […]

• update: I ghosted my ex, and she’s about to be my new boss
• update: my dad is dating my boss, and they want me to go to couples therapy with them
• where are they now: update #1 - the new HR rep with no help

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day. Remember the letter-writer asking whether to tell an employee she needed to […]

• should I tell my employee she needs to give a clearer "no" to a client who's interested in her?
• are these men hitting on me via LinkedIn or are they legit business contacts?
• I yelled at my employees and they walked out

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. And then later today, updates season begins! 1. My former tenant’s “manager” is requesting money for her time spent on a lease dispute I have been in conflict with a former tenant (Sara) […]

• am I being considered for too many jobs, my former tenant's manager is requesting money from me, and more
• visible bra lines at work, boss keeps winking at me, and more
• I sacrificed for my boyfriend’s business and might get nothing, renting a house from my boss, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Trust and Safety, by Laura Blackett and Eve Gleichman. Sick of NYC and searching for a more meaningful life, a couple buy a dilapidated […]

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• a coworker prayed for my fiancé's death so we didn't invite her to our wedding ... and now there is drama
• my manager named Joseph Stalin employee of the month
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any discussion you’d like to have with other readers (work or non-work or possibly even entirely dessert-focused if that’s your bag). Happy Thanksgiving!

• an Ask a Manager Thanksgiving
• my office makes us cook and eat lunch together every day
• the sweet potato incident, the green lunch, and other tales of terrible work food

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Share your holiday angst or joy in this special Thanksgiving eve non-work open thread.

• the Thanksgiving tyrant, the very special salad, and other stories of potlucks at work
• my former employee lied to get a new job, paper turkeys, and more
• my coworker wants us to call her boyfriend her “master”

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s more holiday stories! Tradition dictates that as we head into the holiday season, we must revisit holiday stories previously shared by readers. Here are some favorites. 1. The magic I once worked at a small nonprofit with a lot of team spirit — people truly seemed to love staff gatherings, staff outings, etc. We […]

• the abundant shrimp, the resentful Oreos, and other stories of holiday madness at work
• the Christmas bureaucrat, Secret Santa questionnaire, and other stories of holidays at work
• the cake hoarder, the missing egg, and other stories of holiday mayhem

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work in an industry and on a product where business is booming. We’re making headlines internationally and people are flocking to the product. With this attention has come a large amount of in-bound sales offers from other companies. Software, insights tools, celebrity talent agents, you name it. My inbox is flooded […]

• I don't want to be pied in the face for work
• my boss wants me to host a product party for her, I compared my interviewer to my dog, and more
• employer wants friends and family to participate in 360 feedback reviews

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I asked last week about unusual office traditions you’ve seen or experienced, and here are 15 of my favorites you shared. 1. The PB&J party We once had a coworker who was a young, single guy right out of college and living on his own for the first time. He always forgot to buy groceries, […]

• new boss has a different work style, hanging a photo of the president in your office, and more
• my boss wants us to meet with a spiritualist to fix the negative energy in our building
• my employee delivered a status update … in song

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

aIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss called me a “rando” I’d been working at my company for a couple months, consistently contributing and even receiving recognition from other departments. So, I assumed I had a solid reputation. During a team meeting, my boss was discussing a recent project which […]

• am I being unprofessional on video calls?
• is it unfair to give my best employee more work than everyone else?
• my coworker tells others I'm going to be overwhelmed

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Over the years, readers have submitted a tremendous number of amusing stories about holidays at work. Here are some of my favorites. 1. The thief and the hero At a temp secretarial job back in the day, the owner had a buffet set up for the employees as an appreciation lunch for completing a particular […]

• I can't go on vacation because no temp can meet my boss's demanding expectations
• the loose cannon job candidate, the interview from a toilet, and other tales of interview mishaps
• how should you address coworkers who take way more than their share of free food?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’ve signed up to participate in my office’s gift swap, where everyone is supposed to bring a wrapped gift and we’ll each pick one to open. I think it’s a Yankee Swap, where people will pick one at a time and then can either keep what they opened or “steal” someone else’s […]

• how can I stop my employees from giving me holiday gifts?
• my coworker tipped me
• a resigning employee gave me the best gift

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I can’t advocate for myself without getting emotional. Once I tried to negotiate a medical bill down using advice from many articles online and couldn’t get through the conversation without crying. It wasn’t that I didn’t have money to pay the bill; it was the anger and frustration and feeling of powerlessness […]

• I'm hypersensitive to criticism -- how do I fix this?
• why can't you contact your spouse's employer to advocate for them?
• I negotiated and got more money — why do I feel so weird?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker keeps snarking on the way I fold paper I work in a public library. One of my duties is to fold paper, such as brochures, newsletters, pamphlets, etc. My coworker whose responsibility it is to create, edit, and print those documents will hand […]

• I don't want to fist-bump my coworker multiple times a day
• my boss wants to bring me back into the religious fold
• my coworker apologizes All The Time -- how can I get him to stop?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

All this week to get us in the holiday spirit, I’m going to be featuring holiday work stories readers have shared here in the past … and then updates season will start next week! To kick us off, here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared about potlucks and other food gatherings at work […]

• our fundraiser lets us "pie a manager in the face"
• coworker won’t stop talking about how young I am, how to ask if meetings will provide food, and more
• how companies can throw holiday parties people actually want to attend

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Last year, soon after I’d started a new job as a mid-level manager at a 30-person firm, I was surprised to get an email before the holidays requesting a donation for a surprise group gift from all the employees to the three partners who head my firm. Those partners are lovely people, […]

• our polyamorous employee wants to bring their 3 partners to the holiday party
• we gave an expensive goodbye gift and the person didn't leave
• our boss is demanding a gift with an accounting of names and how much each person contributed